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PAGE ONE SIX PANEL GRID. FIRST FOUR PANELS THE SAME SIZE. LAST PANEL GOES ACROSS THE PAGE, INCLUDES TITLE AND CREDITS. Panel One: Medium shot of Barno Shlepp, comedian of the future. Dressed in an old tux, he's a sort of second rate version of a Las Vegas stand-up performer, a middle aged man whose chances have come and gone, trying to make the most of a fairly lame gig. His material is strictly old vaudeville jokes, updated with intergalactic references, and he is the 22nd century version of a bad Vaudeville comic. He's holding a microphone in one and gesturing with his other, palm forward, fingers splayed, as if to say "no, wait till you hear the punchline." Barno's head is slightly turned; he has a silly smile on his face, eyebrows up. BARNO: ...AND HE SAYS TO THE THRIFFIP-- Panel two: Similar shot, but pulled back a little. Barno, facing forward, has a sly grin on his face, one eyebrow raise the other lowered BARNO: --"IS THAT A STUKTHP ON YOUR QUEEDLE, OR ARE YOU JUST GLAD TO BE HERE? Panel Three: We've pulled back a little more and can see that Barno is on a stage. There is a bandstand behind him, and maybe we can see the legs of some of the musicians and a bass drum. One of the musicians has tentacles, instead of feet. Barno is winking an eye and grimacing in a ridiculous manner, while pointing at someone off-panel. There is laughter surrounding him. SFX: HAHAHAHAHA Panel Four: We've pulled back further. We can see more of the stage and the band in the background, which are all alien life forms. Barno is holding up his hands, as if to gesture thanks to the audience and appreciation for their laughs. BARNO: OH! THAT ONE SLAYED 'EM ON SIRIUS V. SFX: HAHAHAHAHA Panel Five: This is the big panel. We've pulled back to about the middle of the room. The stage is in front of us, with Barno and the band. We can now see the audience is made up of humans and aliens seated at tables, having drinks. At one table, we can clearly see a general in full military regalia and an old man in with small glasses and mustache, a stereotype of the generic scientist. BARNO: HEY, I JUST WANT TO SAY, THAT YOU'VE BEEN A WONDERFUL AUDIENCE, AND WE'RE SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE STAYING AT THE INTERSTELLO RESORT SATELLITE, HERE IN BEAUTIFUL LOWER ANDROMEDA! PAGE TWO THREE PANELS. FIRST TWO PANELS MAKE UP TOP TIER, ABOUT ONE THIRD OF THE PAGE IN HEIGHT. FIRST PANEL IS ONE THIRD OF THE PAGE IN WIDTH, SECOND TAKING UP THE REST OF TIER. LAST PANEL IS BIG, TAKING UP REST OF THE PAGE. Panel One: Close up of Barno, a two-thirds profile. His head down, Barno has his lower lip is slightly stuck out and he's glancing slying off-panel, as if he's about to tell a secret. BARNO: ANYHOO, A KG'SOUG AND A ROGNARIAN SLIME MOLD ARE WALKING DOWN THE STREET-- Panel two: Barno small at the bottom of panel with large sound effect above head. He looks shocked and dumbfounded. SFX: BOOOM!! BARNO (SMALL TEXT): --STREET..? Panel Three: This is the big one. A wall with a huge hole in it, as if it were blown out with a bomb. In front of the hole is a large, very mean looking alien, Major Sn'gla. He is followed by his shock troops, which wear vaguely SS style uniforms. For these aliens I would suggest a form that is humanoid, though with distorted features, such as bat-like ears and tusks, but with enough of a human semblance to convey emotion, mainly disgust and hatred in this panel. Major Sn'gla is carrying a large sword, more or less posing for maximum scare effect. His troops have futuristic guns and are pouring in behind, most of them are in silhouette, inside the hole. In the foreground, we can see some of the audience from page one starting to panic and run. MAJOR SN'GLA: ATTENTION ALL LIFE FORMS!! I DECLARE THIS SATELLITE IS NOW UNDER THE OWNERSHIP OF THE M'DOR EMPIRE!! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!! PAGE THREE FIVE PANELS. FIRST TIER, 1/3 OF THE PAGE'S HEIGHT, IS COMPOSED OF 2 EQUAL PANELS. NEXT TIER IS MADE UP OF ONE LARGE PANEL ON THE LEFT AND TWO SMALL PANELS, ONE ON TOP OF THE OTHER, TO THE RIGHT. Panel One: Medium shot of Major Sn'gla, who is gesturing with his sword to his troops, for them to move forward. He glowers evilly as he speaks. MAJOR SN'GLA: AND YOU ARE NOW ALL SLAVES OF THE M'DOR EMPIRE! Panel Two: Move back and to a different angle. We can see Major Sn'gla to one side of the panel. We can see a few of his troops are starting to cow audience members, including the general and the scientist. MAJOR SN'GLA: THE SOLDIERS WILL DIRECT YOU TO THE INTERNMENT SHIPS. MOVE IN A SINGLE FILE LINE. Panel Three: This is the bigger panel. In the foreground is Major Sn'gla. In the background is Barno, standing on the stage, still in a state of shock. Sn'gla is pointing at Barno with his sword. Between them, we can see a pair of Sn'gla's men herding a couple of vacationers. MAJOR SN'GLA: YOU SEEM TO BE LEADING THIS RALLY OR WHATEVER IT IS. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY? Panel Four: Close up of Barno. He's sweating. His eyes are wide, dumbfounded, teeth are gritted. He's trying to think of what to say. BARNO (SMALL): UM... Panel Five: Barno, head and shoulders visible. He's shrugging. He's got an almost exaggerated frown on his face, like he's trying to convey his loss of anything significant to say. Fear and confusion are in his wide eyes. BARNO (SMALL): TAKE MY GRUDUMPH, PLEASE? PAGE FOUR NINE PANEL GRID. Panel One: Close up on Sn'gla. His brow is knit. His omnipresent snarl is extra snarly. MAJOR SN'GLA: ? Panel Two: Same shot of Sn'gla. He's now got one eye opened wide, eyebrow up, the other closed tightly. His mouth is tight, like he's, yes, trying to keep from laughing. MAJOR SN'GLA: SNIRK! Panel Three: Same shot of Sn'gla. His head back. He's laughing uncontrollably. MAJOR SN'GLA: HA HA HA Panel Four: Panel four through six should be a panorama. Across the three panels should be members of Sn'gla's troops, seen from the waist up, all laughing uncontrollably. Each panel, the laughter should be more and more hysterical. This panel has three of the soldiers; they should be widely grinning and laughing hard. SOLDIERS: HA HA HA HA Panel Five: More of the laughing soldiers, another three. One is slapping his knee. Another wiping tears from his eyes. Another is almost falling over from the explosion of mirth. SOLDIERS: HA HA HA HA Panel Six: Another three soldiers. Two of them are back to back, basically holding each other up, as their legs have given out from laughing so hard. We can only see the feet of the third soldier, who has fallen over onto the ground. SOLDIERS: HA HA HA HA Panel Seven: Major Sn'gla, same close up shot as in panels one through three. He's clutching at his neck, as if he's choking. A bug-eyed look of shock is on his face. MAJOR SN'GLA: HA-- URK!!! Panel Eight: Major Sn'gla is falling over, his eyes wide. He's dead. Panel Nine: Repeat of the soldiers from panel four. They are all clutching their necks and falling over, like Sn'gla. PAGE FIVE FIVE PANELS. SIX PANEL GRID. FIRST FOUR PANELS EQUAL SIZED. LAST PANEL TAKES UP WHOLE OF BOTTOM TIER. Panel One: Generic scientist from page one is over the body of Sn'gla. His hand is resting on neck, as if he just took his pulse. He's looking up, though. We can see the general's uniform pant legs behind his. SCIENTIST: THEY'RE DEAD. Panel Two: Scientist is now standing, general is behind him. The scientist is adjusting his glasses as he speaks. SCIENTIST: HMM, IT SEEMS THE M'DOR ARE SUCH A HUMORLESS AND DOUR RACE THAT THEIR NERVOUS SYSTEM JUST ISN'T BUILT TO WITHSTAND MIRTH. Panel Three: Scientist now has glasses of, is polishing them. General, behind his still, has a mean looking grin on his face. SCIENTIST: THEY LAUGHED THEMSELVES TO DEATH. Panel Four: Barno and the general are shaking hands. Barno still looks more than a little confused. The general is pulling out the stops to come across as a proper Authority Figure, stands straight, talks like he knows what he's talking about. GENERAL: SON, I THINK WE HAVE A JOB FOR YOU. Panel Five: Barno is standing on a tank in a battlefield. The tank has a flat roof, which looks somewhat like a stage. It is covered by a glass dome, which Barno is inside, with his microphone. There are huge speakers on the front of the tank, from which Barno's word balloon should be coming. All around the tank are the bodies of aliens of the same race as Sn'gla, dead or dying, writhing in uncontrolled laughter. BARNO: THIS ONE'LL KILL YA... CAPTION: THE END
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